Rosebud...

What does it mean? You know, at the start, in the first 5 minutes, I actually wondered. Actually cared. It didn't take long before I regretted putting this movie in the DVD player. Actually I'm really starting to wonder if it was a very good idea to watch these so called "classic" movies.
This week I am reviewing Citizen Kane. Released in 1942 in Australia and winner of an Oscar for best writing in an original screenplay. All I can think is that it was in the war years, so it must have been the only movie made that year. It was nominated for a heap of other Academy Awards but didn't win them, which still makes sense. It is so bad that even if there was no competition, the Academy still wouldn't be able to give them the awards.
Citizen Kane was co-written by Orson Welles and he also played the lead character. I don't know much about Orson Welles and after seeing this movie I don't care to find out much about him. Except to say that if I see another movie that is written by or starring him I will run screaming for the nearest bomb shelter, deserted island or Armish community. Any place that a TV can't be found. I can actually take heart that I read the following on the trivia section on IMDB : "Despite all the publicity, the film was a box office flop and was quickly consigned to the RKO vaults. At 1941's Academy Awards the film was booed every time one of its nine nominations was announced. It was only re-released for the public in the mid-1950s." If only they'd left it in
the vault and then tested atomic bombs over it.
[The next bit contains spoilers]
Anyway, enough whingeing, the plot is about a media mogul, Charles Foster Kane (played by Orson Welles) who has just died. His last word before he dies is "Rosebud". The story then retells his life story because a journalist at his paper interviews key characters in his life to try to find out what Rosebud means. This idea I think is clever, and if executed well, it would be great. But the story is so incredibly boring that I don't know how I didn't fall asleep. I mean there would be no such thing as insomnia if everyone in the world owned a copy of this movie. You could come home from a stressful day at the office, all wound up, not able to sleep, pop Citizen Kane on and in about 10 minutes you'd be punching out zeds. I'm sorry, I'm whingeing again, I can't help it. So the story plods along and by now I couldn't give a rats what Rosebud means and my mind starts to wander, and I start thinking about why glue doesn't stick to the inside of the bottle. True story. Anything to keep myself awake. Then we find out what Rosebud means and because I had already given up caring about it, I wasn't disappointed that it was the name of his sled when he was a boy and not the love of his life or anything remotely important. Then that's the end and I am tinged with happiness and sadness. Happiness because the movie is finally over and sadness because I just realised that is 2 hours of my life I will never get back.
What else can I mention about this movie? The camera angles were quite arty. I also found it weird that the characters often talked over the top of each other. It was a little bit off putting. The makeup was pretty good because it made Orson look believably old and young.
Brace yourself for the ratings. As you could imagine this won't be pretty. I have actually left some room because I have seen movies that are even worse than this one, believe it or not.

Here goes -
Citizen Kane : 2 faded old newspapers

Based on a true story...

Actually it isn't, but more on that later. The movie I am referring to is Fargo, written, directed, produced edited (and probably even catered) by Joel and Ethan Cohen in 1996. It won 2 Academy Awards - best actress in a leading role (Frances McDormand) and best original screenplay (the Cohen brothers).

The movie starts with the text: "THIS IS A TRUE STORY. The events depicted in this film took place in Minnesota in 1987. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred." This in itself is an excellent move because as the story progresses, and more disturbing things happen, you have in the back of your mind that those things probably really did happen. There are quite a few well known actors in this movie, Steve Buscemi (a personal favourite of mine) William H Macy (another favourite) and quite a few others I have seen in TV shows or other movies. The plot is about a car salesman (William H Macy) who schemes to have his wife kidnapped (by Steve Buscemi and his accomplice). They are to split the ransom money that is to be paid by his rich father-in-law. Things start to go wrong when the kidnappers are pulled over by a state trooper for not displaying the correct registration plates and they kill him. Things start to go horribly wrong for William H Macy's character too as his father-in-law wants to be part of the negotiations, potentially ruining his plans. The saviour in this film is the pregnant local police woman, played by Frances McDormand, an extremely likeable, smart and calm character. The way she handles crime scenes in a non-plussed, relaxed manner, not at all affected by the gruesome scenes she witnesses is actually refreshing and welcome. It helps to balance out the violence. Personally I didn't see anything in her performance that would warrant an Oscar though, but then again who am I to judge these things.

This movie is disturbing and violent and warrants it's MA rating. I personally think it is more deserving of an R rating than Fight Club. It is a black humour though and possibly because some of it is so visually disturbing, it is hard not to laugh. The setting of the movie (actually none of it was shot in Fargo) adds to the mood of the film, as does the music.

As far as I know, I have only seen one other movie made by the Cohen brothers and that is The Big Lebowski. I actually enjoyed that more than Fargo. Both movies feature Steve Buscemi and in Fargo he plays the role of the "funny looking" man. When they say in the movie - "how is he funny looking?" I asked myself the same question. It is his teeth. He has a face full of crockery that looks like he picked up off the floor of a Greek wedding. I actually wondered how he would feel about being portrayed that way but it couldn't have been too bad because in the end he was chipper. Boom tish!

So, is it a true story? No. Any research done on the movie will tell you that. In fact, at the end of the movie they have the standard disclaimer about the story being ficticious etc. The Cohen brothers wrote about crimes they had heard or read about, so I guess in a sense, it is partly true.

Now comes the time for me to think about giving it a rating. I didn't dislike the movie, but then again, I wouldn't hurry to watch it again. The story is told well, the cinematography was great and the characters were very good. It just seems to me that any movie that is disturbing or violent automatically becomes a hit with everyone. That isn't enough for me to give a movie a high rating. It is more about enjoyment for me and I must admit I enjoy movies that make me laugh like a comedy would. This movie made me chortle but the kind of chortle I would make when watching a kid fall off his bike on Australia's Funniest Home Video Show. Not really a belly laugh.

Here is the rating :
Fargo - 5 woodchippers

As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster...

Well not me, that is what Henry Hill (played by Ray Liotta) says at the start of the movie. Goodfellas was made in 1990 and is the first of many gangster movies on my list. And here I was thinking it was a story about the Salvation Army.
I haven't seen many, if any gangster movies or shows, that is why there are so many on my list. One thing I do know is if you are making a gangster movie you need the following ingredients -


1. Robert De Niro
2. Joe Pesci
3. Killing, lots of killing and then revenge killing.
4. Guns and knives (see point 3)
5. A respected character (see point 1)
6. A crazy character (see point 2)
7. Cigarettes and cigars
8. Italian suits
9. Lots of swearing
10. Martin Scorcese as director

Goodfellas is based on a true story and I have a vague memory of seeing a documentary about it. It follows the life of Henry Hill, played by Ray Liotta as I have mentioned, as told be him. He gets involved in organised crime from an early age and befriends Jimmy (played by Robert De Niro) and Tommy (played by Joe Pesci) and works for Paulie (played by Paul Sorvino), the mob boss. Later in life Henry starts dealing in drugs and becomes addicted to cocaine, his marriage suffers and he is in fear of being chased by police and in fear of his mob connections. After a massive heist with Jimmy and Tommy, amongst others, they all start getting paranoid that the others will "rat" on them, or lead the police to them. The solution: kill them.

This movie has confronting violence, that is why it gets an R rating. The killings are shocking which is the way they are meant to be. Joe Pesci's character is particularly disturbing. He is a maniac who kills people just for making fun of him. The lack of distress he has with the notion of killing somebody, chopping them up, and disposing of the body is chilling. Joe Pesci won an Oscar as best supporting actor for this role. Even though Henry Hill is a majorly flawed character, drug addict, violent, corrupt etc, I still found him to be likable. The same can be said about Jimmy, Even if they were crooks they were mostly fair and kept the violence mainly to fellow mobsters or people who deserved it.

The acting, script, direction and pace of the movie are all very good. There is something about it though that I didn't like, but I can't put my finger on it. I think it was slightly too long and I got just a little bit confused at times with who was who (all those Italians look the same to me). The ending was not what I expected, which is a good thing. Maybe the thing I didn't like about it was how confronting it was. Maybe I should stick to Disney movies.

The Ratings -
Goodfellas : 6 stabs with a large kitchen knife
Spaghetti with home-made sauce : 6 tomatoes

Moon River, wider than a mile...

This week I watched the third of my must see well known movies, Breakfast at Tiffany's. I would categorise this in the most famous movies along with Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, The Wizard of OZ, The Sound of Music and Cool Runnings.

I wasn't sure what to have for dinner while watching this movie and then it hit me. I wouldn't have dinner at all, I'd have breakfast! So bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and pineapple juice it is.

Breakfast at Tiffany's was made in 1961 and won 2 Oscars (both for the music). Now, this movie could probably be classed as a chick flick, but I must admit I liked it quite a lot. To balance things out in my review then, I will mention a few blokey things every now and then.

Audrey Hepburn is a classic beauty and her role in this as Holly Golightly is probably her most famous role. Holly is a likeable character if not a little aloof. From what I have read she is a high class call-girl in the movie, but the hints weren't strong enough for me to pick up on. It is quite obvious though that Paul Varjak (played by George Peppard - who I only knew from the 80's TV show The A-Team, a very blokey show) gets paid to be somewhat of a gigolo. There are some quirky funny moments and I will admit I did get a little emotional at the end. Sure, not as emotional as Roger Federer after he lost the Australian Open final (tennis - a somewhat blokey sport), but a little emotional none the less.

The storyline revolves around Holly and Paul (or Fred, as Holly likes to call him) who live in the same block of apartments. Paul is a struggling writer who has a sugar Mumma to keep his head up, so to speak. Holly is a, well, we never actually know, but she is always dressed stunningly elegant, even when she is in her casual clothes. Maybe it is her hair. Yes I think that is why she always looks so beautiful. She gets caught up with a Mafia boss (very blokey) though this part of the story is really just a sideline, but contributes to the ending. I have heard the ending in the movie is completely different to the ending in the book, written by Truman Capote. I enjoyed the ending in the movie and thought that it was fitting.

The only negative I have about this film was the Asian landlord (who I found out later is played by Mickey Rooney). It is obviously an attempt at being funny, and maybe it was funny back in the days when a pie to the face was funny, but it just seemed way too forced for me.

The music in the movie fits it like Audrey Hepburns black velvet glove - perfectly. That is why composer Henry Mancini picked up 2 oscars for it. In fact, the song Moon River is probably the most famous quote from the movie. Excuse me, I just have to duck off to tune the engine in my monster truck.... there that's better, I was getting a bit sappy and sentimental there for a while.

So to summarise - I really enjoyed this movie. The character interactions, storyline and pace of the movie kept me interested. The length of the movie wasn't too long or too short, and heaven forbid I even loved the cat.
I think I'll watch a gangster movie next week, just to get my blokey quotient up.

To the ratings -
Breakfast at Tiffany's : 7 diamonds (from Tiffany's of course) and 1 stray cat
Bacon, Eggs & Hashbrown : 6 rashers of bacon, 1 egg
Chocolate cake made in a mug with ice cream and chocolate flavouring, and muggacino : 8 scoops of ice cream

Dinner - or is it breakfast?

Dessert - chocolate cake made in a mug, ice cream and chocolate topping